When this blog goes dark, and like even Eve itself it will go dark eventually. I wanted to say why I really started this blog. I needed an outlet something to help me express my feelings. Channel the varied emotions, trials, and tribulations that is this wonderful game. That and Real life which dictates when or if we can even undock……
Though what this blog really is, is something hopefully that will help me figure out myself, my real life (RL). I've mentioned I am a soldier with 11 years active service. These last 2 years have been the worst for me mentally and physically. I'm currently seeing a psychiatrist, and going to other medical appointments to see what is wrong with me. As it stands it's all in my head which in its own way seems worse to me. Either way those are my burdens to bare, and thankfully I have good people around me to help deal with them, and a loving family. I count myself lucky to have that, as others may not, and if that's the case I hope I could help someone in need.
Eve & RL
I use Eve as an escape from RL, but....
I had both collide in a way I wasn't prepared for. We picked up a new member who was a soldier as well. Soon after we picked up a WarDec, out of the blue. So I reached out to them, and found out they were after our new member. Not unheard of, but they wanted us to kick him, and or have him undock to get attacked. Sadly as a CEO I didn't have this knowledge and this was our 4 WarDec and would keep my guys docked and I'd lose more members. So I kicked him and immediately regretted it. Come to find out they were other soldiers who he'd had a disagreement/fight (not a lot of details) with and they were harassing him in game. This violates some rules CCP has in place, so my diplo filed the ticket to have it stopped. This places me in a odd place I ask for RL numbers as a leader bullying, and harrasment like this in game, is likely a lesser of what he is getting on RL. Once I confirmed I out ranked all parties against my corp mate by several ranks sufficed to say they stopped the in game stuff. I also knew the people to call on the RL side were they were stationed that'd stopped it cold. In the end I invited him back, as soon as I found out the full information, but he declined making feel even worse for what I had done.
Sadly even we cannot fully escape death of those close to us by logging into Eve. People like Vile Rat, Uber pain, and many others have passed on avid players of Eve Online. How this impacts everyone is different, but all are a huge blow to someone. Vile Rat touched many and by far the most notable loss to the community as a whole. Such a high profile person in his RL won't go unnoticed when something as tragic as what happen come to pass. Their losses have RL effects that we cannot begin to fully emotionally rationalize, and leaves holes that will remain hollow. I didn't know Vile Rat in game, but he was a patriot in RL as am I. So I'll call him brother, and mourn him like I would a fellow soldier as he should be.
Uber is what everyone called him, was a pilot from our alliance, and had a huge effect on some our members. I didn't know him either, but regardless he was in our Alliance, and one of us... so I undocked. I flew my Gila on my main, and my Skiff on my Alt, orbited a lone can that said RIP Uber. The Alliance head, and other leadership and orbited the can shooting fireworks, and snowballs. It stop me cold it felt like I was looking at a combat memorial in Iraq.
Excerpt from Alliance mail:
Today we gather to recognize the loss of a brother; Uber’s time on Earth and in New Eden came to an end in March 2014.
Kel Gallnt, uber pain, over medicated, black, vicodin
Uber was a great man and a valued pilot who will be missed. His bluntness made him a man we loved to hate at times but loved him all the same. I remember spending many late nights having a good laugh at the jokes he would tell. He would keep us entertained with his life stories and blunt jokes.
He was always willing to lay his pod down for his EVE friends and family. Regardless of the odds he was always there. If there was an event he was there to support his friends and family.
Eve is Real
This is when Eve isn't a game anymore it becomes a community. A group of brothers, sisters, friends, and enemies. We laugh, and cry with one another, and in this instance grieve for those we've lost. It touched me they did this for Uber, and what struck me more was others from my corp that undocked. They never knew him, but I felt as leadership I needed to attend either way. They fired all their Fireworks, and snowballs, then we undocked larger ships, and repped the can with drones. Some were related a story, and talk about taking a roam to an area he had wanted to go to. One by one people docked up, and like RL the pain is there, and the memory brought forward to deal with.
Tomorrow we undock like any other, but hopefully with the purpose of enjoying the time we have in game and out with the people we care about.
This blog was for you all at C5, members who knew him, and Sara